Sunday, November 2, 2008

A Loss In My Family

The Monday following my last Blog started out as a typical Monday. Up and get ready for work and have a busy day. Head home,dinner and some TV. But as i'm getting ready for bed my phone "beeps" i've missed a message. I listen and a very bad feeling comes over me. The call is from Mike a very close friend of my Bio-Dad Jack. I call and he tells me that Jack has passed away. He was out feeding the animals and he fell down, a neighbor was walking his dog and saw him fall, he ran to help him. Jack got to the porch and said i'm just so tired and slumped over. He was gone! So many times we thought we had lost him with so many heart surgeries and the latest scare of pancreatic cancer and then suddenly he is gone. I cry and cry and Carter holds me trying to comfort me. I call David my 1/2 brother and he is in tears also and heading to Ottumwa. I say Carter and I will leave the next day and get there as soon as we can. Following a very sleepless night we throw clothes in the car, arrange for a neighbor to check on the cats and off we go. It is a very long drive from Norcross,GA to Ottumwa,IA. Over 15 hours and Carter and I drive straight thru getting there sometime in the early hours of Wed. David and I have discussed the arrangements and have decided on Wed visitation and Thur morning burial. The next few days are a blur of tears, sadness,love,comfort,stories of Jack,smiles,laughter and always more tears. The kindness of friends and extended family can never be thanked enough, it makes such a difference. I only got to know Jack a few years, but I am so very thankful I had that time with him. He completed a piece of my puzzle that was missing for so many years. I will always thank my Mom for encouraging me to find him and get some closure. Of course I have regrets, I wish I could have visited him more often, had more years and told him just one more time, LOVE YOU DAD! But our last conversation just a week before his death was a wonderful one. He had come back from his check up in Iowa City and felt great. We discussed a get together sometime soon and as always he ended the conversation with, LOVE YA MUCH! I can still hear his voice in my head and see him in my mind and he will always be in my heart. He was not the Father who raised me and that Dad can never be replaced in my heart. He was my real Dad, but Jack had a special place in my life and in my heart. He too will be missed.

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